Christopher Trout got his start at the El Paso Times at the age of 16, and has since continued to sully the family name as a freelance journalist. Over the past 12 years, he’s written about Naomi Campbell’s temper tantrums, America’s most illustrious hustler, and the coming of the robot apocalypse. He defines himself by the things he doesn’t own, like a humanoid named Stavlos that can shake martinis and polish the silver. After graduating from the University of Texas in 2004, he moved to Oakland, CA, where he lives with his three American pit bulls and one Peruvian boyfriend.